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Mark Gillispie's Blog

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May.20.2013
I have no idea whether this works or not. It could be one in a collection of short stories, or could be fodder for nothing. It can be found here: http://redroom.com/member/mark-gillispie/writing/jam
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Apr.29.2013
(Author's note: This was my final journal entry. I thought of writing a wrap-up, but now ... I'm not sure. I'm frankly tired of that story. I vowed to finish what I started, posting all of my journal. It's almost a year later, and I'm doing pretty darn good. Even starting to make a few putts...
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Apr.27.2013
It's titled "Beach Memories" and can be found here on Red Room: http://redroom.com/member/mark-gillispie/writing/beach-memories Any and all feedback is welcome, even if it's to say it sucks. I just ask that you tell me why it sucks so I can learn something.  
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Apr.22.2013
Today marked my fifth day of whole brain radiation, leaving me 10 to go before I'm done with cancer treatment. Fatigue is supposed to be one of the primary side effects of whole brain radiation, but I can't distinguish it from the fatigue I felt before this phase of treatment began. Add it all...
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Apr.20.2013
I apparently was not at my best yesterday morning when I arrived at Kaiser for my appointment with Dr. Verma, the oncologist. “You look terrible,” his receptionist told me as she recorded my weight and blood pressure. It was a blunt but undoubtedly accurate assessment of my condition inside and out...
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Apr.18.2013
I thought I had prepared myself emotionally no matter what the news might be. Yet, when Dr. Greskovich walked into the examination room at the Clinic and told me the CT scan showed I'm cancer free, I cried for the first time in weeks. Those tears were a blessing; It showed that I’m capable of an...
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Apr.16.2013
Fatigue consumes me. I slept for eight hours last night, woke up, ate breakfast, and promptly fell back asleep. I reawakened just in time to drink two large bottles of yummy barium sulfate, drive a mile to Kaiser where I received a CT scan. I was home an hour later and immediately fell asleep. The...
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Apr.11.2013
One of the few joys of growing up in a small, hick town was my willingness to leave it in a hurry and and never look back. There was no longing, no saccharine sentimentality, no yearning for halcyon days forever lost. Nine days after someone handed me my diploma in 1977 on the scruffy turf of the...
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Apr.09.2013
I’ve spent recent days slipping in and out of consciousness. Unlike the weeks immediately following chemo, periods marked by a debilitating, flu-like malaise, I feel nothing now, just overwhelming fatigue. The weather this spring has been the most pleasant I can recall. Warm winds have sent...
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Apr.09.2013
Tomorrow marks my third month as an ex-smoker. Cancer was good for something, I guess. But I remain hopelessly addicted to nicotine.  There are multiple times each day when I lust for a cigarette. Habits die hard. When I leave the house, a lighter and a pack of cigarettes are invariably on...
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Apr.08.2013
You might notice a large gap in the narrative. All I can offer are excuses. I've sorely lacked the energy or words to commit anything to print. But I've begun to feel better. The flu-like funk is dissipating, but I still lack energy. There are days even now when I do little more than sleep. A...
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Apr.06.2013
The number that popped up on my cell phone did not surprise me. It was Dr. Ravi Verma, my oncologist. I knew why he was calling. Mary Lou had grown tired of watching her big, strapping husband reduced to a useless pile of goo and had contacted him. Dr. Verma asked how I felt. I croaked a weak reply...
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Apr.03.2013
I can tell from comments left here and on the blogspot site that the chronology I've employed has confused a few folks. I'm self-publishing my contemporaneous journal a year after the fact. You'll notice that the overwhelming majority of the posts are from the year 2012. Every once in awhile, to...
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Apr.02.2013
For whatever reason, the angry clouds of post-chemo malaise parted slightly today and provide some badly needed sunshine. Six hours of solid sleep absent the unsettling dreams undoubtedly helped. The irritation in my esophagus also has lessened, which made me think of food. Weak and short of...
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Apr.01.2013
Despite my best hopes that I would emerge from my final round of chemo in relatively decent shape, the toxins have driven me deep underground. Bone-weary fatigue overwhelms me. I get short of breath walking to the bathroom. I dragged myself upstairs yesterday afternoon for a shower and thought I...
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